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Adult Baby Diaper Lovers

The Adult Baby Diaper Lover (ABDL) community is a diverse group of individuals that includes adult babies, diaper lovers, and those who cherish them. ABDL can be sexual, non-sexual, individual, or partnered; it can be a fetish or simply fun.

The desire to regress into an infantile state and the use of baby items are common elements that accompany the comforts of the adult baby lifestyle.

Adult Baby Diaper LoversABDL activities within the community are different for every person, but certain baby items and practices are more common, such as the use of diapers and pacifiers. Role-playing behaviors include speaking in a baby voice, drinking out of a baby bottle, or the desire to be taken care of by a “mommy” or “daddy.”  Many participants use both role-play and baby items to express their ABDL desires and can do so alone, with a partner, or online.

Online forums are a safe space for ABDL members to connect with each other and to engage with a virtual community.  They provide ABDL-related resources, forums, events, and chats.  The ADBL community also includes those with incontinence.

The ABDL Spectrum

Since individuals in any group vary greatly in their preferences and activities, it is easier to imagine the ABDL community on a spectrum that also includes people who do not identify as babies.

Diaper Lovers

Not everyone who wears a diaper is an adult baby. Diaper lovers include people who wear diapers without a medical reason or enjoy watching others wear diapers, without the adult baby association. Many diaper lovers are especially interested in plush, soft diapers with a thick backsheet. Diaper loving can be sexual or non-sexual.  Some diaper lovers enjoy secretly wearing a diaper in public, while others simply find safety or comfort in diapers without the desire to be a baby.

Partnered ABDL

For some ABDL participants, adult baby play is more about dominance and submission rather than baby role play.  The daddy dominant and little girl or boy (DD/lg or DD/lb) dynamic or the mommy dominant and little boy or girl (MD/lb or MD/lg) dynamic are a few examples of how ABDL and BDSM intersect. Note that some ABDL submissives prefer the term “little”, although many littles are not ABDLs.


Partnered ABDL activities for asexual people can give them an opportunity to connect with others and to negotiate their needs while still honoring their asexuality.

Misconceptions vs. Reality

There are many common misconceptions when it comes to the ABDL community, the most common of which is the idea that ABDL participants have a sexual interest in real infants or children.  ABDL behavior has nothing to do with actual infants and is more closely related to being in an infantile state of mind that brings comfort or relieves stress.  Age regression can be used as a coping strategy for negative mood states as the childhood behaviors generate positive sensations that counteract the negativity.

Another misconception is that ABDL community members are mentally ill. There is no scientific or medical evidence to support this idea.

What is the Take-Away?

ABDL and the ABDL community is another wonderful aspect of the human experience, something to be explored and indulged in, if that is your desire.

If you have an interest in or experience with ABDL and want to explore this part of yourself, please feel free to talk to your Affirming Therapy Center therapist about it.  Or, if you want to work on an area of personal growth unrelated to your ABDL lifestyle or desires and are looking for a therapist who is accepting and understanding, please contact us for a free 15-minute consultation.